It can be tough to advocate for elderly parents who usually want to remain independent for as long as possible. The role can vary greatly depending on the needs and health of parents, from accompanying them to medical appointments to providing personal care. 

You need to strike a balance between empowering them to make decisions and supporting their best interests. It is often a struggle to assist parents to make the best choices for themselves rather than taking over the whole decision-making process. 

A parent is still an adult, capable of making choices, and may simply require some support and assistance to make them. Here are some tips to help you prepare to advocate for them. 

1. Do your homework

If you’re going to advocate for your parents, you need to know their goals and desires. Having a parent sign an advance directive is helpful. This form is completed with a doctor and outlines what type of medical intervention they want. For example, they will have to state whether a ventilator is acceptable in the event that they are unable to breathe properly. 

Being an advocate involves more than just understanding their medical preferences or their financial situation. It also means taking their spiritual, social, mental and physical health into account to make decisions that are right for them. 

Using the services of a company like Tandem Careplanning will give your loved ones the best in-home care and help them to retain as much independence as possible. This may be infinitely preferable to them than having to move when fundamental tasks such as remembering medications and preparing meals are more difficult for them to accomplish. 

2. Don’t forget about the paperwork 

Make a list of all medications (names, doses, time to take them and a physical description of each one). Elderly parents can easily forget to take medication and may have problems with complicated drug names. Give a copy to your parent or to a caregiver if you have hired one and keep a copy yourself. 

The HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability) Act of 1996 has a privacy rule that protects the health information of a patient. You can’t legally speak to doctors or make decisions on behalf of your parents. You aren’t able to provide any input about their treatment or receive updates about their health. Having a health care proxy gives you access to all their health information. 

Make sure you have a list of the names and telephone numbers of everyone in a parent’s medical team. Accompany your parent to appointments where possible so you can start to develop relationships with them. 

If your parent undergoes any tests, you need to request copies of test results. You also need to request any diagnoses and other pertinent medical information. As your parent's age, they are likely to forget important details such as their blood pressure numbers soon after they leave the examination room. 

3. Trust your instincts

You know your parents better than the medical professionals and you have to trust your instincts to advocate for them. You know their wishes and how they react to certain situations. For instance, if you believe an operation and a long hospital stay is not really in an aging parent’s interests, you have the right to consider whether any other options are available. 

As an advocate, you will help to manage their personal affairs, such as financial, legal and health matters. You will ensure they receive high-quality services and support and represent their best interests when they are unable to do so.